la...la...la...
(sigh)but, i'm so happy, we can walk 2gether like we did, we can share our problems, and also we can do whatever we want to do... but da problem's in her heart, so empty... she had bf out there, i'm just a little piece of shit for her??? who know??? i'm like jerk, just run and run for my reality, i just dreaming alone. maybe it's just my dream 2 get her back by my side, coz i know what her mind... she can't love s'o else except her bf, except she doesn't have a man who loved her, maybe i can change her heart again and back 2 our memory like we did before, but now i'm just her friend, no more bout dat...
i dunno what whould i do right now, i'm so jealous when she called her bf, i'm so jealous when read his sms in her mobile phone... i'm so jealous evrything bout him... dunno why, i'm still think dat she's my gf... but, what should i do? i only can pray for God, i hope sumday we can make our dream come true... i'm so sad when she said 2 me dat she don't love me anymore, i'm just her friend... but, evrythings we done, it's so wonderful... very2 wonderful... we can share a lot of problems dat we can't share before... i'm so happy, but deep in side my heart, i'm nothing for her, just ordinary man who want 2 play with her, dat's all...friends, do u know what i felt right now???
Geez, i'm so fuckin' angry with my self, so fuckin' stupid...i hope she read this, but... so??? it can't change evrything much... it's just a piece of shit for me (maybe for her too), i'm just so boring... i can't do anything alone, my mind is only her, no one else... my mind is just wanna be her man 4ever... (sigh) a lot of factors dat i can't handle with my own hand... (sigh) today, she had call from her bf when she play at my home, God... do u know what i felt??? so angry with my self, i can't angry with her, coz she doesn't make any mistake, it's all my mistake... she look very happy when her bf called her... then, what sould i do? just angry with my self, i'm leaved her alone in my room and i watched TV at da other room. then, when she look my pic in my comp, she only bring her pic by her self, not a pic with me... aaarrggghhh... i can't control my mind, it's our beautiful memory, but... (sigh) yeah, i'm nothing... Geez, it's so childish... i feel like a child who crying loud when no one give me a candy... hahaha... now, i just can laugh alone... i dunno what should i do. i'm trying my best do evrything dat i can do, but i can't loosing my mind from her... she always and always walk in my mind, in my heart...
Geez, it's so fuckin' boring story, hahaha... i'm just depresed with my mind, i can't talk with her bout this, coz i'm nothing... yeah, i'm nothing... and i feel, she knew bout this, she knew what i though, coz i had talk to her bout this before...sooo... nothing i can do except hold on to nothing... hahaha... just wanna talk with s'o bout this, but no one can understand me... hahaha... (sigh) hope... and hope... pray to my Lord... let's flow (it's my word), and she just say : evrything can become very2 beautiful at da right time...


